Faded but still Glowing

I had paused for awhile and watch my wife sleeps. She’s snorring. Looking at her, hands with callus, back knees with varicose veins, visible wrinkles, eyes and skin are pale, hair dry and unruly. Clothes are old faded worn-out. Why these things had to happen with her? Haven’t I taken care of her or she didn’t fix herself to be presentable? She’s so different right now from before. Though she’s ever since simple but her hair tied, supple thin palm, she silently sleeps. I must have taken half of her load in chores and buy some of her personal needs. She tends to prioritize us first, the least attention she had given herself. We had been busy receiving and developing ourselves while forgetting to return the favor and treat her beyond appreciation. We value her efforts and we’re enjoying the convenience of a good home.

I am so guilty to think of having a curiosity to indulge with younger women, slim and sexually active. Even if that wondering wasn’t permitted to try, the thoughts of it make me ashame of myself. All the time that my wife had been exhausted and already acquired ailment in serving and loving the family; not to be threaten by a selfish stupidity. Why am I being tempted to spend bucks to avail a ‘credit card swiper’ (other woman) if I already have an exclusive free join depositor? Why will I want to lose the essence of pleasure?

Can I endure the idea of being isolated in the society in case I’ll be infected? Am I insulting my manhood that I need to pay? Am I insane to create my own burden and regrets? The fruits of our labor would be in vain if we destroy the foundation by welcoming pests. I am so thankful to God that we had embrace, clean living, though tested but not driven.

I tightly hug and kiss my wife many times. Ask for apology for shortcomings, and thank her for loving us, for loving me. Wife becomes dull because usually loaded, almost 3/4 of tasks that supposedly all members of the family should settle. We became so dependent and relax to do what we want to mind but failed to notice sometimes that she needs our assistance. We should lessen her stress by not making her upset and help her out to gain relief because of her role is really stressful than you can imagine.