Our elder son on his freshman year in College consult us about groups inviting him to join them. Good thing he’s open to our opinion regarding activist and fraternity. Most of the time, principles from these organization are interpreted and executed the wrong way.

Activists. These were yelling for reform, waiting for imediate action from the people concern. They tend to forget that walls are blind and deaf, and rarely respond positively towards complain. They were saying that they were the victims of the rotten system. Why they were drenching themselves to more deplorable state, skipping classes, hunger strike or sacrifice a day work? Why would one waste his time and productivity for the hopes on uncertainty? Assuming that the result would be for long term. Ironically, the reality is, more of thinking what others could do for you rather than to do something; not to be conquered by such limitation. Too close to set aside studies and might probably wouldn’t able to finish. You can do more of the changes you want if you strive hard to achieve goals with whole will and righteous means.

Fraternity. Hazing is stupidity, loyalty couldn’t be demonstrated by blood clots or series of rod hits. Pain shouldn’t be the reason of holding back, staying is to gain and give something valuable. Not to inject revenge, worldly wicked schemes and wrong concept of brotherhood. Violence seeker grabbed you away from activities that are worthwhile and rewarding. Showing hatred to restrictions and rules; but an abuse will all end up to a more narrow space and soon an empty self.

Don’t embrace death, a chain reaction to slip your feet near the cliff edge, allowing yourself to be a prey, an air-headed fighter bragging without honor.

Choose your company that wouldn’t corrupt your character. Be involve with the cluster that could develop you into a better person. There are a lot of options, open your eyes and learn to screen….

(Citation: video from youtube.com made by 856MiiSsiinqYhUuJaZz)

Last time, I asked my X about circumcision, how it is being done? He laughed when I queried, “Is it being sculptured?” haha…. He explained and told me to check it when I already got my son and compare it to his father. I just remembered the past, now that I and my husband are raising kids to adolescence stage. Our son is already develop to a handsome young man, just like his Dad. While our daughter, simply beautiful and sought-after, I only got one step ahead of her when it comes to looks, joke haha….

This is the phase, which curiosity is at high, and stupidity could lead into risk. Innocense could keep them away from mistake for awhile but once informed by wrong sources could drag them into consequences.

To expound further, when youngsters asked, we could say it’s the synonym for gender, which pertains to male and female. Then teens would again mention the same question; we could define it as the process where gametes formed a zygote. Now, they are reproductively capable, merely Science would not be enough but to discuss it with a dose of Psychology. Is sex should be practice or avoided? It is positive after marriage and negative when made in advance. The big follow-up word “why?” When you decided to settle down, it is the point that you are ready to take the responsibility of having children. Financially and emotionally stable, thus permitted. While doing it without commitment would give burden and will be force to sacrifice the things that you shouldn’t. It is more on loses if you want to have it earlier. Gains are of temporary but oblige to pay thrice. Easier to get into but difficult to move out. Having it with the wrong reason and entertained aggressiveness would most likely place you being taken advantage, treating you as a playing material. Worstly, if you’re having it with a person who had sexually transmitted disease acquired from multiple partners, it may cause you illness or even death. During those period, you’ll be emotionally disturbed.

Then a very alarming query, it makes no difference, one could have those even if you tied a knot and under vow or legally honored consent, right? Don’t haste, rushing feet to the road of misery… to be driven by weakness of the flesh. Why will you choose a sure dagger instead of a rose with thorns?

On or before marriage could be successful or failure, no one could definitely know what tomorrow could bring.

We can’t afford to scold our children for their line of reasoning but to let them speak and think for themselves. We are only here to guide. “People most of the time creating their own problems. Complaining to God and blaiming it on others. The fact that you tend to destroy your life due to carelessness for oneself. Don’t mess with your and others’ lives. There are a lot of ways to enjoy, and don’t be tempted on what are currently restricted. Bitterness comes next on those who prefer to be stubborn and unruly. You don’t need to experience all for you to learn and to be strong. Your senses and the ability to stay firm with good principles are the strength that is already within you. Only needs to maintain and hold on to it. If majority tells you that one should passed and undergo everything to be a better person; it is just to extract or have a good attitude out of the odds.

-Which will you like to avail? To get what you can still consume from decayed fruits or eat fresh food on your platter?

How could you be happy, if you’re choosing what’s bad or of poor quality for you? Don’t insult yourself, it is not what you deserved. We knew that nobody is perfect but don’t make it as an excuse. Why will you justify the things that lead to self destruction? Wish to know hardly what love really is, so you’ll have its glory and not to be your downfall. Prevent to do harm.”

Nice that a question had somehow shifts from adult issue to slight matter. They asked, “why we are not discipline the usual punishment like hitting with a rod, spank, or in any harsh form of striking?” Do raising hands could make crooked straight? (disciplinary action implemented).

“Having your arms upwards means asking God for awakening, and you are given the chance to explain your side. As parents, we want all of you to obey not because of fear but to follow as a sign of respect, and the willingness to understand what are being adviced to you. Learn to weigh, heard what’s best for you and listen to opinions, so you knew how to handle differences.”

We discipline our son today, as a punishment his hands will be raise upwards and recite the prayer on the wall (refer daily prayer, Category: To Our Lord) Then while his arms are in that position, we let him speak his reasons for his actions. When he didn’t want to say anything, he must do the raising while we explain what he needs to change. This is what happen this afternoon:

Our child answered the seatwork fast, then when the teacher is lecturing, he was found reading the next chapter that is supposedly for tomorrow’s topic. “Young man, are you listening or you can’t catch up what I am discussing?” He boastfully answered, “I already knew it, why is it you don’t want me to have advance reading? Then he was asked to stand up to continue the discussion and he was able to explain exactly what are written on the text. The mentor smiled and queried, at first he had got it right but on the second question, wasn’t able to answer. “Not all are listed and learned in books, there are still a lot of things you didn’t know. Don’t rush; not to overlook on the essentials.” He fixed, left his seatwork at the table and leave.

Now, “we didn’t oblige you to know everything. Your advance learning will be made not during the lecture. Reading beforehand was being done for you to participate well in the next class, and to lessen your difficulty in understanding your lessons. Nothing is wrong about studying ahead, but you should have it during vacant hours or at home.” Then he defended himself, “I was insulted and underestimate my capability. I’ve been hurt because she crushed my self esteem, disturbed my momentum and stepped on my ego.” Then we further explained, “it is your arrogrance that brings you to shame. You weren’t at the school to prove something or of possesing superior intelligence but to fill-in your limitation and humbly listen. Build yourself up with the right attitude and have good grades so your confidence stays with you. Have wisdom so you will know how to use knowledge correctly. Values strengthened your personality, to put it into application, right practice. Free yourself from pain so you could enjoy life, ok.” He hugs us and asked apology, then say sorry to his teacher the next day.

It feels good that I am now covering books, buying school supplies, preparing snack for youngsters and teaching techniques in studying in an easier way. We make it enjoyable learning lessons and find time to play mind games. Their Dad trained them in chess and I enhanced their vocabulary through scrabble. In sports, father and son are into basketball while I and daughter in badminton. During vacation in elementary level, the children are a month taught by hired teacher; eldest on saxophone and youngest on piano. Then we encourage them to present during programs and ocassions. We are also planning to enroll them in a taekwondo class when they step into high school. In college, they will be oriented on what life comes next after graduation on their chosen field. Once a year, we schedule to have either take the kids to a nature trip like beach, mountain or to a mall to buy what we all needed and eat in a food chain or fine dine. We are spending just enough and worthy of being purchased or to wisely avail long-lasting and valuable. Every holidays like yuletide seasons: Christmas and New Year, we visit our parents so they’ll be able to hug their grandchildren. On the usual Sundays, we read Bible, then we told our kids,

“for every wonderful things that is happening in your life, first give thanks to God for He is The One who makes it possible then second to the instrument/ channel who had deliver it to your hands. Whether it’s coming from another people or from your own effort. Always remember that you are not living for yourself alone. What you are today is not solely your own strength but only borrowed from God. It may be taken away anytime, downfall in arrogance and exalted in humility.”

Years passed so fast, that I remember a baby sleeping above my husband’s chest while I place a blanket to warm them, but now all grown up Loves asked me, would you want us to have a baby to learn violin? Haha … ) if God will allow us again, why not?

I find it so cute when she’s the one asking me for … you know what it is. Haha…. I’m teasing her, wanting her to plead, it is not avenging on her during those times that I’ve been waiting and understanding her alibis; now it’s her turn, joke. Each one of us felt bad when being refused but there are instances that we are really worn-out, too tired. We just assured that we’ll be having it once a week but not to have none even if it’s really busy loaded schedule for the two of us. We knew that we’ve been longing for attention and a special moment together, intimately. We have to do it to move us away from temptation. In any refusal that is happening, we’re just going to think that it will make it intense missing one’s cuddle, carress or more. Not to seek it from external wreckers.

The blessings we have now will vanish if sin is to commit and to destroy, so will not allow that to happen. Having other parties would only lead to another partition of wealth, additional set of problems, dishonor, feud between women/men and children, uncurable pain, time hardly handle, serious illness, sum up into a hell-like life.

Why would I gamble a long term happiness in exchange to a temporary pleasure? It is stupidity. Why would I release my money to have it, if I could have it free, free from headache and of regrets? It is the weakness of the flesh, but to run towards own spouse to be save and not to be driven by impulsiveness. We need to be strong to resist, for the sake of the whole family. Not to be selfish to disregard our children’s normal life, not to spoil it. We couldn’t discipline them if we’ll not serve as a good example, neither to defend them if the offense is being done as well. We should let God guide us and obey His will; for us to hold ties until last breath.

“To value is the key given to us, to make it possible.”

It is very exhausting, I often yell that I need a long break but it’s a continuous cycle; no way out. Trying to enjoy what’s new and putting heart on it could ease up the difficulty. At the end of the day, you need someone to turn to. We rest in each other’s arms and that formed our baby girl. Our son is already three years old, few months after, he’ll be going to school. My husband will bring and fetch him up while I would be in-charge with our daughter at home. I am so glad that I wouldn’t have to shoulder the whole thing.

Late night, he mentioned working abroad to have it faster, more savings in shortest possible time. I disagree, we’ll be living within our means, if this requires me not to sleep I will. He told me not to be narrow minded, haven’t you got any trust on me? We already knew how it feels when we’re far apart but we must put into consideration our future in the long run. Don’t worry for tomorrow, we could make it here. What’s the source that you’re relying with, books with inconsistent demand? Time will come, all are in computer access; no more words published/ printed in papers. About my work here, it’s only sufficient for a beginning family. Then I explain to him, that is why we’ll be having our business together while you are still working. We’re going to start now while the necessities are less and gain back the capital already when expenses are already raised. We can do it as long as we support each other, I don’t want to entertain the term sacrifice if we could find some other means. Then he hugs me, it’s really hard for me to leave but if you also see it inadequate, I had to conquer nostalgia. It is not dependence but your presence would keep the family stands stronger. Finally, he is convince and will just think of a good business that we’ll be managing. We decided to finance the infrastructure little by little and have development yearly. Our eldest is already seven years old and youngest age four when the business operation had started. I and my husband had realized that it only take patience and dedication. We could have it best, together.

“No room for pride at this point of situation.”

It’s our baby’s first birthday today. Done with the steamed embutido, marinated barbeque, chopped ingredients for spaghetti and chopseuy last night. Then I will just cook pasta, rice, fry the embutido, grill the kebab (skewers), finish with the veggies at the morning. Fried cocktail hotdogs with marshmallow on stick are creatively arranged. We ordered cake and ice cream for desserts. Then our in-laws donated grilled whole pig (lechon), like we’ve also got when baptism. There are balloons and give aways for the kidoes.

Photographs are taken, my husband proudly carrying our son in his arms while I’m at his side, being kissed on my cheek. Another choreograph, we kissing our baby’s cheek, we on both sides. Then I with our son on my lap then spouse’s arm above my shoulders, sitting beside me. There’s also a picture of my husband, together with his, my father and ofcourse our baby . Also with me, together with my and his mother with our child. The day is very laborious but worth-it, really happy.

While our son is on his grandparents, I don’t know that a little clash is already happening between my husband and one of the guest. He had pushed the chest and said, “you may insult me but never to speak your foul thoughts about my wife!” We halted them. Then when the celebration is through, he had received an apology. Without telling our parents the whole details, he just excused himself and get inside our house, so I follow him and asked what happened.

I thank him for being so protective on me. “I knew you love me but you must control your temper, not to trigger a fight. If you do that further, it will just make you no difference with that person’s crooked thinking. Do it in a diplomatic way, voice out but not to allow violence to set in. What matters to me , is you at my side who advocates and knew me well. The important is you are not influence by others’ opinion or rumors and shielding me from harm. I feel so safe in you and I thank God for it. We hug each other.

They are inviting me to have a night-out but I refused them. I told my officemates, “How could I enjoy while my wife loaded and alone handling the responsibilities?” They suggested to hire a maid but both of us decided not to because we are saving for building our house and investment on business. We should steward money wisely because there’ll be education to sustain and the necessities that we need to provide for our children. I rather spend for my son’s milk, or special meal for the whole family to consume rather than to waste it on vices or luxuries. They annoyed me that I’ve been a killjoy and might forget to live my life; depriving oneself from wants. I prefer to have a summer vacation with my family for recreation to loosen a bit and have fun.

I’m already a married man, no longer a bachelor, a mature man with sense of priority. Then I whispered to myself, “a man gifted with wisdom.” Saying those doesn’t mean that I’m calling them irresponsible, a headache, a trouble maker, a woman nicer or a spendthrift. It is not that I’m being stingy or didn’t come along nicely with them but to consider some consequences and think of who matters most or of great importance. There would always be several occasions in a year to mingle and not to hang-out whenever they ask.

When I got home, I play with my son and heard him say Papa. Wow he had called me his Papa. He also knew how to say Mama. We are really happy in his development, same with his kiddie little steps. Then brought home a ready dish for our rice, cooked by my beloved wife.

My husband is so considerate to agree that we’ll be having pancakes/ bread with fried or ready made fillings or soup every breakfast. I cooked excessively on dinner so I will have a ready meal for tomorrow’s lunch. I iron all his clothes as practice over the weekend while he’ll be in-charge with our son. Mine and my husband’s garments are still every Saturday routine while baby’s clothing and nappies will be wash after used. The daily write-ups that I used to have had turn into two papers a week. My career is in stationary phase.

The crib is always few steps near me while doing the chores. I can’t leave him alone in the room, even if he sleeps. When I take a bath, I let the door open, so the baby will be within my sight. Though I already scheduled all ahead, these were not carried out as planned. Many adjustments and add-ons come along; even if the sequence is not meet but to follow and accomplish what are on the list.

To lighten the tasks is to keep all organized. Returning the things from where it should be, proper disposal of diapers, learn to efficiently maximize time when the baby is resting and if awake, do simple household chores at the same time. Then when the baby is already few months old, I use carrier so that he’s with me and practice him how to walk in the morning and in the afternoon. I usually play music, nursery rhymes and let him watch some educational and moral values oriented shows on video or on tv. Before we sleep, we read him a story and explain what the book implied. Every Sunday, I, husband and our baby pray together. Each night I’m also snorring due to fatigue and experiencing backpain. Once a week we massage each other to gain relief, same thing with the baby having soft-touch therapy.

(citation: video from youtube.com made by danielemessina)

I and my husband are watching our in-laws in demonstrating on how to bath a child and to burp after milk feeding. I am so anxious that I take down notes, not to forget every details on how to deal with the needs and ask questions that I want to know. I ask for apology because I am quite tense. At first, I’m kinda scared that the child might slip into my hand when moving during bathing or have fracture when I’m carrying him in my arms. My mother-in-law told me that I must learn how to relax and enjoy taking good care of their grandson. Then my biological mother had reminded me that I shouldn’t forget to comb my hair and not to set aside my husband. This means: a wife should stay presentable and pamper your spouse even if there is already a baby to mind. A never-ending multi-tasking, that should be done with the assistance of the husband. Lessening the workload would avoid the wife to become dull, not to develop inferiority complex and insecurities. Family should be prioritize before others.

Parenthood is a given gift, an additional life to mind, to love and to mold. It is far more than responsibility but to value as your own. Thus constructing a strong foundation for where the children’s feet will stand. Helping them and be part of what they will become in the future. Teach a sense of obligation but never to create burden to impede their progress. Always keep a quality time together and know each family member’s update. All should be given concern and enough attention. No favoritism, somewhat resembles to consistency of treating oneself good to feel good. This is an opportunity that the father and mother should have, for they only stay for several years. Then later, ends solely as couple, as grandparents as guidance, no longer hours hands-on but to let the legacy of well-upbringing be pass from the children to the next generation….